Caring for Your Aging Parent

By 2030 more than 71 million Americans, nearly one-quarter of our country's population, will be 65 years of age or older. People are living longer, and an increasing number of working adults are faced with caring for their parents in a more hands-on way than previous generations. In fact, 63.8 million adults are now considered the "sandwich" generation, caught between raising their own children and caring for aging parents at the same time.

Carol Abaya, M.A., is a recognized expert on the sandwich generation, aging and elder/parent care issues. She has a nationally syndicated newspaper column called The Sandwich Generation and her website features a number of key areas from aging in general to legal, medical, and financial issues. Emotional issues above all are emphasized.

Several local United Way partner programs can assist you by providing services and helping you make decisions to ensure you parent's health and well-being:

• Visiting Nurse Association offers home health care for those who need assistance on a regular basis;

• United Community & Family Services runs adult day centers and has volunteer opportunities for seniors to help them stay active;

• Pawcatuck Neighborhood Center provides transportation, lunches, field trips and activities for seniors;

• And Infoline 2-1-1 is the best resource for your questions and concerns. Infoline is United Way's information and referral service. The call is free from anywhere in Connecticut. You can also access their database online at www.infoline.org for programs and services available in your local community.

The Family Caregiver Alliance estimates that between one-third and one-half of all caregivers are employed outside the home. In addition to raising your own children, running a household and maintaining a successful career, you are now responsible for your parent or loved one. That in and of itself can be a full-time job.

If you do take the primary role of caregiver, the Alliance recommends that you get started by making a list of what you need help with and when to analyze the depth of care needed with tasks such as feeding, bathing, and taking medications. Visit the Family Caregiver Alliance website for more information including:

• Advocacy Tips;

• Care Options;

• Work and Eldercare;

• Holding a Family Meeting; and

• Relocating Your Parents.

In its Caregivers Library, Family Care America offers a worksheet to assess daily activities. If you will be at work during these times of need, the organization suggests you then explore the various types of formal or informal care that will be required. Informal care may be another family member or neighbor who simply checks in on your parent each day. More formal care can be an adult day center or home health aide. The assessment may also help guide you to other alternatives such as home delivery of groceries and medications, friendly visiting, and meals-on-wheels programs.

Visit the Caregivers Library for in-depth information about:

• Caregiving Basics;

• Hiring In-Home Help;

• Caring for Yourself;

• Disabilities;

• Emotional Issues;

• Government Resources;

• Long-Distance Care;

• Money Matters; and

• Transportation.